Russ Parr Morning Show’s Daily Horrorscope For August 1st, 2022
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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of August 1st, 2022.
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Aries: Your new husband just split up the bill. He’s just paying for the water bill.
Taurus: Remember when bicycling, you’re not a car?
Gemini: Remember, you can only misspeak or misspell a word like a couple of times. Because after that everybody gonna know you can spell or speak grammatically correctly.
Cancer: Any man that says he’s good with money. Come on, you know you probably not.
Leo: Your man may be slow. He thought a stimulus proposal was something like asking for sex.
Virgo: You might be hood if you still think OJ Simpson is fine.
Libra: there is a reason nobody wants you to bless the food. Number one you spit, number two, the food will be cold by the time you’ve done.
Scorpio: Why you lazy uncle always tried to discourage you from doing something productive. Oh, because you’re making him look bad.
Sagittarius: Your grandkids do not want to play hide and go seek with you anymore. Because it takes them hours to find you. Because you are playing Hide and Go sleep.
Capricorn: Why do you have Invisalign or rotten teeth? And Who the hell’s your dentist anyway?
Aquarius: You just found out you’re pregnant but every time you do the math to who the baby is you can so mad there was one issue at one time you knew you shouldn’t mess with Rollo
Pisces: Stop trying to hide the fact that you have kids when you want to phone with a potential roommate. You know they noisy
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